Tuesday, January 20, 2015

Why I'm Leaving Syracuse

       So recently I've been having a lot of problems with financial aid (as always) and this time, it just seemed like there was no coming back from it. A lot was being expected of me that I couldn't possibly pay and although it ended up working out and I was given the aid I need to stay here, it gave me some insight into Syracuse and made me realize that this might not be the right place for me right now. Throughout the whole hassle of Syracuse telling me that I needed to pay them thousands and thousands of dollars before I could register for any classes, otherwise leave my on-campus apartment and go home, I started thinking about where I want to be in my life right now and Syracuse just isn't it. I realized that I was no longer fighting to be here and once I realized that, it was pretty obvious that I just don't want to be here as much as I used to. I found myself hoping that I'd end up somewhere else and that's basically what made me decide to leave.

     Before, it was worth working all the time and being completely broke because this was exactly what I wanted and I loved it. Now, it's just a lot of work and for something that I really could live without. I love Syracuse to death and I was excited to finally be in Newhouse but I was using Newhouse to keep me here. I was hoping that once I was in Newhouse that everything would be better and I'd be happier here and it just didn't happen like that. Everything seemed to be going even better than usual plus I found a steady job that's perfect for me and even with all that, I still didn't feel like this is where I need to be.

     I've invested a lot of time and effort and money into being here, so it's hard to just leave after everything I've done to be here, but I also am not going to spend any more time or money being somewhere I don't absolutely love being. If something isn't making me happy then I'm not going to continue doing it. I refuse to spend two and a half years working my ass off to be able to barely afford a college that I don't want to be at when I could be working my ass of somewhere that's perfect for me.

     I thought about it a lot and I talked it over with several different people, and most of them seem to agree that I don't seem to be interested in being here like I used to be. I don't think it's a bad thing, I just think I've done everything I can here and now it's time to move on. It sucks that it didn't work out but realistically, I don't even like the east coast. I hate the cold, I don't like snow, I have no desire anymore to live in New York, and paying for air fare back and forth might as well kill me. That used to all be trivial and I didn't care because I loved being here more than anything but now it makes a huge difference. I still love Syracuse, I just don't want to be here enough for it to be worth it. There isn't enough making me happy to keep me here. I think I could be a hundred times happier and more satisfied somewhere else so that's what I plan to do.

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