Friday, November 14, 2014


     The concept of virginity is one that I've been bothered by a lot lately. It's this "pure" state of being that is completely tarnished the second you have sex for the first time. It's this abstract idea created and enforced by parents, churches, and whoever else. It's the idea that once you have sex, you're not as worthy of respect or love as you were before.

     Girls who stay virgins are seen as more respectable, and just plain better than girls who decide to have sex. There's an extra pressure and a higher standard placed on girls to try and be more worthy of receiving a man's love. Girls who have sex are looked down on as if it's wrong to give into their biological needs. We are programmed to want sex and to have sex, yet girls are shunned for it while guys can have as much sex as they want and it doesn't change them at all.

     I've heard the double standard described in so many different ways such as, "A lock that can be opened by many keys is a bad lock, but a key that can open many locks is a good key." Although that may be true in a literal sense, it's completely absurd to even try to compare it to men and women's anatomy. A man who can have sex with lots of women is a good man, yet a woman who has sex with lots of men is a broken woman. That's just wrong and it doesn't make any sense at all. Why should a woman be scorned for her sexuality while a man is praised for it? It's the same instinct in both sexes no matter how you try to twist it to favor men.

     Women are sexual beings just like men are and should not be looked down on for expressing it. It's each and every person's own choice whether they want to have sex, who they want to have sex with, and when. No woman should be shamed for her decisions, regardless of what they are. Girls who decide not to have sex for religious purposes or other reasons should not be put on a pedestal above girls who have not made that decision.

     There's no wrong or right way to go and it's different for every person. If a girl wants to save sex for marriage, it should not be as a result of the pressure put onto her by her religion or her family or society. It should be because that's what she truly wants to do. A girl who decides she wants to have sex should be allowed to do just that, as long as it is because of her own choices and desires and not because of the pressures of anyone else.

     This "virginity" that people are defined by actually means nothing. To be a virgin should not define someone as a person or determine their worth. There are no names or concepts that hold people to standards for the before and afters of any other events or actions in life, so why is there one for sex? It's a concept that shames and pressures girls into making decisions they may not be informed or confident enough to be making, whether it's to have sex or not to have sex. Girls should be able to decide their own worth and not be affected by the opinions of people who expect them to deny the needs and desires that are biologically programmed in them.

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